


stop living in the past (and start loving me in the present)

by Lelaaa



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Beacon Hills (Teen Wolf), Derek Hale Deserves Nice Things, Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Derek Hale is a Softie, Friends to Lovers, Hurt Stiles Stilinski, Idiots in Love, M/M, Slow Romance, Stiles Stilinski Is Bad at Feelings, Stiles Stilinski is Part of the Pack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:26:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24578260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lelaaa/pseuds/Lelaaa
Summary: Derek Hale cares about Stiles and Stiles keeps putting himself in danger.(im bad at summaries, sorry :( )
Relationships: Derek Hale & Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 3
Kudos: 144





	stop living in the past (and start loving me in the present)

**Author's Note:**

> this is a short story about two idiots in love but both are bad at this whole feeling thing so nobody says anything until a pack of omegas comes to town.
> 
> enjoy!

„I don't have anything for you tonight, Derek.” A soft voice coming from a body curled into a ball on the bed filled the room, breaking the silence. The man stopped climbing into to the room through the window, one leg still dangling outside the window. His heart clenched seeing the boy on the bed. He looked so vulnerable.

“I figured” Derek responded after a long pause, trying to stop his voice from shaking. He nearly lost him today. The moment he realised that Stiles was in danger was the longest and the shortest moment of his life.

He just got over the fact his entire family died because of him, accepting the fact that he was a victim and that he was just a boy when it happened. He accepted it and moved on. Then Stiles came into his life. Loud, sarcastic, _perfect_ Stiles. The boy wormed his way into his heart, making Derek fall in love with him. It took him a few years to accept it, to admit to himself that he was really in love with Stiles. He wasn’t ever going to do anything about it, because Stiles was happy and obviously not feeling the same way. Derek was okay with just having him in his life.

And then came today.

They were fighting a rouge Omega pack, that had been terrorising Beacon Hills for a week or so. It was supposed to be fairly easy. Scott’s pack and Liam’s puppy pack were both in town, ready to help. Scott, Isaac, Allison, Kira and Lydia were supposed to corner the pack into one part of the woods. Liam, Theo and Corey were meant to wait for Scott and the gang and help them keep the Omegas in that area. And at the end, Stiles, who volunteered to be the bait (much to Derek’s disapproval), was in charge of the volcano ash, trapping the omegas in.

That was what should’ve happened and Derek knows better than anyone, plans don’t usually go the way you want them to. First thing that went wrong was Scott’s pack was late. That wouldn’t be a big issue if the Omegas weren’t already there, picking a fight with the puppy pack, instead of following Scott. Then Theo got badly injured, which made Liam lose attention and get beaten. When Scott and the rest finally came, Liam, Corey and Theo were nowhere to be found, because Corey hid them, because both Theo and Liam were badly bleeding and were in no fighting shape.

Scott’s pack tried to fight the Omegas, waiting for Derek and Stiles, who were running as fast as they could. When they finally arrived, Stiles, of course, jumped straight into the fight and gave the signal, before Derek could even argue against it. Everyone, aside from the Omegas, jumped away as Stiles threw the ash in the air, creating a circle around the Omegas. He smiled proudly to himself, but his moment of glory was short-lasting. The Omegas realised what happened and turned to him, catching him before he could step outside of the ring.

Derek’s heart stopped and he tried to step into the ash only to be pushed away. Scott tried as well, his effort a little bit more successfully but to no avail. Then Lydia tried, but one of the Omegas got a hold of her hand and tried to pull her in, to which Kira reacted and with one swift motion cut off the Omegas hand, instantly letting go of Lydia’s.

Stiles was on the ground, bleeding and hurting, but he wasn’t going to break the circle. It was the only thing keeping the Omegas in and if he had to sacrifice himself to save others, he would. Derek knew Stiles was stupid enough to die for others.

After Kira’s little stunt, the Omegas realised they were out-numbered and in a pretty bad position. The fact that they were close to killing one of theirs didn’t really help them. One Omega, a big, blond guy, motioned to the three of them on the ground and ordered them to release Stiles.

They weren’t completely happy with that decision but they complied nevertheless, picking Stiles up from the ground and tossing him across the forest. Derek and Scott instantly ran to where Stiles’ body fell, Scott picking him up and running to Deaton, not wanting to worry his mother or the Sheriff any more than they already are worried.

Derek stayed with the rest of the pack and the Omegas, trying to reach a reasonable deal. He knew Scott wouldn’t approve if he just killed them, which was a pretty good option in his opinion. Kira then had a brilliant idea of just sending them to hell. They sure did a lot of bad in their time on Earth and killing them wasn’t an option. After a quick phone call to see if Scott agreed, they reached a verdict. Kira then stabbed her sword into the ground, the fear visible on Omegas faces, opening the door to hell. They fell one by one, trying to hold themselves on the edges, but it didn’t do much. After all five of them were swallowed by the big, fiery pit, Kira pulled her sword out and the ground closed back up.

They all went to Deaton’s, to check on Stiles, where Liam and Theo were already waiting, their wounds patched up and already half-healed. After a few hours, Stiles was free to go home, with a strict order of bed rest and no heroics. Derek quietly snorted. Turning around to face Scott, he frowned at the Alpha in front of him and said in a low, but stern voice: “He could’ve died today. He’s lucky to be alive.” which, translated to Derek speak, meant “I could’ve lost him today and it’s all your fault.”, but it’s not like he would admit that out loud to anyone.

The man on the bed scoffed, returning Derek back to reality. He sat up from his laying position to glare at the other man. “Of course you’d think so low of me. What, I can’t get one day off? I’m not supernatural like you, I need time to heal. So if you’d be so _nice_ ” he spat the word and continued, “and let me do that, you’ll have your report tomorrow.”

Derek was stunned. He was still sitting on the window sill, too shocked to move. Clearing his throat, he managed to utter: “What?”

“Just go, Derek. I don’t even know what you’re doing here.”

“You’re pack, Stiles. I came here to check on you.”

“ _Pack_ ” Stiles repeated the word and frowned like it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t work tonight. You heard what Deaton said, you need rest. I came here to see how you’re doing, not to get information.”

“Yes, because I’m just a fragile, little human, right? Everyone’s biggest worry and nuisance. Stiles, the ever-bothering human.”

“You’re not fragile.” Derek said and frowned. furrowing his eyebrows.

“Well, today sure as hell proved you wrong. In case you missed it, Sourwolf, I’m pretty much lucky to be alive! Isn’t that what you said to Scott?”

“You heard that?”

“What, surprised? Just because I don’t have supernatural hearing, it doesn’t mean I’m stupid or deaf. I can see how you look at me every time we need to go out and fight. Sometimes I think you all liked me more when I was a Nogitsune. At least then I was a real threat. Now I’m just _Stiles._ ”

“I hated when you were a Nogitsune. I hated every moment of it, because that _thing_ wasn’t you.” Derek sniffed the air, a strong scent of pain and blood overwhelming his nostrils. “Stiles, calm down. You’re bleeding.”

Tossing his leg over the window, Derek took few large steps and sat down next to Stiles. Taking his wrist into his hand, black lines appeared on Derek’s skin as soon as he touched him. “Why didn’t you ask me to take your pain? You must be hurting so much.”

“I can take it” Stiles responded and tried to pull his writs out of Derek’s grip, which only made Derek’s grip stronger. “Let go off me.”

“No.”

“I hate you.”

Derek felt a pang in his stomach. Stiles’ heart was beating too fast all the time and his scent was pain mixed with blood and he couldn’t even tell if that was a lie or not. “Okay.”

“Why are you doing this? You hate me.”

As the lines faded away, only a sliver of pain still present, Derek let go off Stiles’ arm. Still looking down, he said: “No, I don’t.”

“You don’t have to lie to me. I know what I see.”

“What you see is me worrying about you, Stiles. And, yes I’d rather you not come with us because you’re human and not a werewolf, but not because I hate you or because I think you’re a nuisance. It’s because I can’t think when I know you’re there, because I’m worrying about you. But asking you to not jump straight into danger is impossible. I made my peace with it, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop worrying about you. You’re pack.”

“Just when I think you might say something actually real, you call me pack and it’s like you’re safe. Right? Would it kill you to say something meaningful without the safe net?”

Derek flinched. “What do you mean?”

“You like me because I’m pack. You care about me because I’m pack. You check up on me because I’m pack. But I’m not pack, Derek. I’m not a werewolf or anything supernatural. I’m just a human and I’m not a part of your pack. You can’t keep telling yourself you care about me just because I’m a part of the pack, when I’m not. I know you don’t like me or care about me, so why are you here? Stop lying to yourself. And stop doing this to me. I can’t, I can’t…”

“You’re right” Derek said, as a strong scent of sadness and disappointment filled the room, overpowering the previous scent. He lifted his head to look at Stiles. “I’m using that as an excuse. But not because I hate you.”

“Please don’t lie to me, Derek.”

“I’m not. I wouldn’t. Out of all people, you’re the only one who I would never lie to.”

“Yeah, because you suck at it.”

Derek chuckled. “And because I care about you.”

Stiles looked up, Derek not meeting his gaze.

“Not as a part of the pack. As you. I care about you because…” he swallowed, his heart beating so fast and his vision slightly blurring from how nervous he was. “because I’m in love with you.”

“Oh.”

“And I know it’s stupid and you definitely don’t feel the same, so if we could just forget about this, and I’m going to leave so you can get your rest.”

He stood up and went toward the window, his heart still racing, when he felt a hand on his arm, pulling him back. Stiles was standing in front of him, a hand gently placed on Derek’s arm, with a soft smile on his face.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?”

“What?”

“Derek. You. Are. An. Idiot.”

“Look who’s talking” he deadpanned.

“Touché. But what I meant is,” he said and smiled. “I’m in love with you too.”

Derek’s eyebrows jumped in surprised and he took a step back. “Stiles… You don’t have to lie to me.”

“Am I lying? You can check.” Stiles said and took a deep breath. Derek listened to his heartbeat, his eyes glued to Stiles’ chest as Stiles repeated the previous statement. The heartbeat was always erratic and completely over the place, but Derek knew the difference between the regular erratic and irregular and at that moment Stiles’ was telling the truth.

“Why?” was the only thing that came out of Derek’s mouth.

“Why I’m in love with you? I don’t know. I realised as I left for college that it hurt to leave you the most and after a few weeks I noticed that I missed you. And when I came home for the weekend, the first time, seeing you made me so happy and I didn’t even spend time with you. I just liked knowing you’re there, you know? And– “

“No, not that. I mean, why me? You could easily be with so many people better than me. And I made you think I don’t even like you. I made you think I hated you. Why me, Stiles? I don’t… I don’t deserve it. You. I don’t deserve you.”

His eyes were stinging from the unshed tears as he was looking at Stiles’ blurry face.

“You deserve so much, Derek. And I knew this even before I knew I was in love with you. You are a good person. You keep everyone out and you shut yourself in to wallow in your pain and misery, when it’s not your fault. It really isn’t. You keep hurting yourself because you keep blaming yourself for something that happened ages ago. Derek, you gave away your Alpha power to save your sister. You killed Paige so she wouldn’t suffer, which resulted in your eyes turning blue, marking you as a killer. You found two most deserving people in the entire town and offered them the bite.”

“And they died because of me.”

Stiles took a step forward. “No. They died because there was a threat. Threat they both agree to help stop and kill. You didn’t ask them. They wanted to help. Derek, you never take anything, not even if you deserve it. But you give so much away and it’s going to kill you eventually. I don’t need to be in love with you to know that.”

Taking Derek’s hands into his own, he continued. “You might think you don’t deserve me, but Derek I know you do. Because I know you. And I love you.”

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Derek looked at the man in front of him. “It’s just so like you to think about other people when you’re the one hurting.”

“You deserve people caring about you. And we all do. This isn’t just me. We all care about you, Derek. At one point or the other you saved our lives. You help everyone and you’re not letting us help you.”

He shook his head at Stiles. “I didn’t save anyone.”

“You did. You’re a good person.”

“No, I’m not, Stiles. It was my fault my family died. And I accepted it. I accepted the fact it was my fault. I moved on. Does a good person do that?”

“Yes. You can’t keep blaming yourself forever.”

“I didn’t. I actually was happy for a while. And then you came along, with that annoying personality and I started to think about the future. About being happy _with_ someone. But I didn’t deserve you, after everything I did, you were too good for me. And besides, you liked Lydia and I just stepped aside, I guess.”

“To brood all alone. And to start blaming yourself again.”

Derek scoffed. “Something like that. And then you left for college and I had to let you go.”

“But you didn’t. Because you like to torture yourself.”

“If I liked you, I couldn’t be with anyone else.”

“But you’d never allow yourself to be with me.”

“No.”

“What about now?”

Derek sighed. “I don’t know.”

“Okay.” Stiles sat down on the bed and Derek followed suit.

“Okay?”

Stiles nodded, turning his body to face Derek and flinching at the pain, what made Derek instantly put his hand on him to take away the pain. A soft smile was on Stiles’ face, squirming out of Derek’s grip to intertwine their fingers together. “Yes, okay.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“It means I’ll wait. For when you’re ready.”

Derek shook his head, firmly holding Stiles’ hand in his. “No. I can’t do that to you. I can’t ask that from you.”

“You’re not doing anything. You’re not asking me. This is my decision. I’m so gone on you, that I’d wait for you either way.”

He played with Stiles’ fingers in his own. Was it finally time for him to be happy? To have someone? “What if… what if we go slow?”

A bright smile lit up Stiles’ face. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”


End file.
